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God Can’t

Is there something you wish you could do, but can’t? I feel your pain. There are things I can’t do. At my age, and in my condition, I can’t complete a standing back flip without…

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The Battle of the Dumb

I’m beginning to think that there’s a contagious case of insanity going around when it comes to the things men will do. Take, for your consideration, the Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling Competition. Held near Gloucester, England….

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Laugh-giving Words

Did you ever encounter a word that made you laugh? Here are a few I have laughed at since high school. Absquatulate. It means to leave. Next time you leave a room, say I’m going…

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Foot In Mouth

Today let’s talk about my ailments. Among other things I have been diagnosed with foot-in-mouth syndrome. Have you? If you’ve ever started to say something that you began to regret around about mid-sentence, you know…

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The Witch of Wall Street

Are you cheap? I have Scottish ancestors who were so cheap that they wouldn’t even tip their hats. If fact, legend has it that they married skinny girls so they could buy smaller rings. My…

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Autocorrect

If you’ve tried to type something into a computer or a phone lately, you may have noticed that these gizmos come with auto correct, a wonderful invention that has almost done away with our spelling…

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The Clown

Few humans have been more gifted at making others laugh than Robin Williams. Our children loved the Disney movie Aladdin with Williams as the irrepressible and hilarious genie. Williams was also a comic geni-us. I…

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Due Diligence

Well, I kid you not, we’re expecting. The news came at a Thai restaurant when she grinned, handed me a gift bag and said, “Congratulations!” Inside was a coffee mug, with these words on it:…

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Cheerio Time

One Sunday afternoon I sprawled out on the living room floor and drifted off to sleep. I dreamt that two KGB officers were pursuing me on foot through the darkened back alleys of our small…

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The Waiting Game

Waiting is not my favourite game. I’ve played it often. As a child, I waited for the cookies as they cooled on the counter. I waited hours in closets that my brothers locked me in…